I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
