break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
