so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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