to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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