it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize