now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
