we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
