:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
