I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize