They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
