wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
