All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize