Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
