Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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