there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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