Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize