So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize