before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
