Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
