guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
