Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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