Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
