ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
