never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
