I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
