i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
