I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
