"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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