just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
