Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
