"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
