It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
