she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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