Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
