I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize