dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
His hands were made for my vagina.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
