i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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