you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
