i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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