Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
