We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
