I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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