cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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