i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Is it penis luge time yet?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize