Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
