Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
