I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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