too bad you live with your parents still
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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