To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
