She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize