Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
