It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
