I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it glows. i had to have it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
