Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
