batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
