Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
