Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
