i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
