What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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