I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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