I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
