Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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