Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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