I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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